leave that alone, would ya?

I hate to say I told you so, so I won't.

Friends are like strangers who know stuff about you.

While I'm thinking of it I need to change my name again. Not my blog name but my real one.

I just wish I could remember what it was so I won't change it back to the original one.

What good would it do to change it back when people will know who you are?

I am rambling now so you can stop me at any time by using the "safe" word. Unless you forgot it again.

You did, didn't you? You lazy bastard! I'm not gonna tell you again what it is so you'll have to keep guessing.....Let's just say it rhymes with 'orange', and the rest is up to you.

..Gotta go...

I can take a lot of stuff but you better stop peltin' me with rocks and garbage!

I mean it!!

There. That's much better. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. I was telling y'all about my pone collection. Like this blue one here; I got this one on my camping trip to my living room...Actually it wasn't so much a camping trip as it was just me foraging for cat toys under the couch.

But it could have been camping, right? I mean there was a lot of dirt there, as well as a lump or two of something that belonged in the woods....and then there was that something that bit like a bastard.

Left a rash, too.

That's all I got so can I have another cracker now?

...and some salve of my injury?

Thanks!

Goodbye.

agony

What is this? I really don't know. I thought you brought it with you. Either put that away or use it like a real man and/or woman; hard to tell from this angle. do people really read these things? I wouldn't unless I had to, but if I am writing it then by proxy I must be reading it. Paradox and confusing all at once. And slappy...have you thought about slappy? He's a good guy once you get past all the slapping. But who has the time for slapping? I don't...but I can make the time if necessary. Where the hell am I going with this? Oh, just look at the damn picture and leave me be. I want a cookie. Yup, a cookie....bet you didn't see that one coming, did you? I am a crafty one, you must admit. Still waiting for that cookie! I ca wait all night.......COOKIE!

rent not the boggy pete...

...or peaty bog. not sure which it is so rent not either. or is that neither? my grammar is insufficient as you can probably tell. that is if anyone out there is bothering to read this. hard to tell, really. just taking it for granted, actually. nope, don't know if this is being read by anyone. i won't hold my breathe......

Funny cat, no?

Heifer

funny name for a cow. Not sure why but just don't think it's fair. how about we just call them "Jimmy"? i would feel more comfortable with that, and so would the cows. there, i said it. someone had to. might as well be me. that's all i got....goodbye, everybody.

Bartering for Badgers

...I ain't doing that again. I thought it was a good idea but I should had kept the sandwich. I liked that sandwich very much. It had the right balance of onions and tar. It also broke my tooth. That's where the badger came in. tried as hard as I could to befriend him, but the nasty bastard took a chunk of my foot off. They are not to be trifled with, I tell ya! all pointy teeth and surly attitude. Couldn't win him over no matter how much I tried. Even gave him the good pillow AND let him hold the remote....
I hate that badger! Nasty bastard! I'm going home.....

..He's all yours, buddy- have fun.

peeple, mostly

There are peeple mostly I don't like.
1- that guy on tv that yells at me.
2- anyone wearing purple on president's day.
3- my tooth.
4- the guy whom took my sneakers off the front porch- although they had poo on them so HAA!
5- scary zombies. even the fake ones.
6- I forgot this one.
7- that chick on the bus with open-toe shoes she wears year round. her toes look and smell like a hand full of clams, and she stinks of cigarettes and regret. and she keeps sitting by me even when I drool.
8- that may be all....
9- yep, that's all.
Thanks for coming...bye!

they wore me down so now I must blog or I get no pudding

Is this on? What? I can't hear what you're saying. You have to talk louder. LOUDER! Oh, forget it. I lost my train of thought. I will get back to you. Bye..