This ain't easy for me so I will just blurt it out; I have begun to think I was born without knees.
I don't take this kind of thing lightly so don't tease me, OK? I don't even know why I told yoo guys this because the last thing I need to do is give yoo any more ammunition. Yoo already know about my issues with felt panties and my aversion to anything made from coal so it's not like there isn't anything to give me shit about. And before I forget there's the "Gouda" incident and the less that's said about the red-assed baboons at my birthday the better. Now I'm mostly over the whole "Sticky chowder bath salts" so don't try that one on me, although I still get a little queasy around raw bacon but my doctor yells me that that's a natural reaction and not to worry although I still do. Oh, yeah; I have to reluctantly mention the week I spent convinced I was Mildred from the '50s sitcom "Where'd you leave my bunion paste, Mildred?", but I digress further, so I will end on this note: when you have to choose between living a noble life in abject squalor or a shallow one in greedy excess you should not even have to think about it. Go for greedy!
